| The Next Generation | |
| 99 | |
| In Theory | |
| 44932.2 | |
The Enterprise is off to survey a dark matter nebula - we'll temporarily ignore how they found it. Data is working with an as yet unknown crew-member: Jenna DeSora. Working in this instance will be used as a euphemism for guidance counselling - not bad for one who has no feelings. It seems that the counselling may go in interesting directions as Jenna is acting like a clinging bimbo. Now where is Riker when you need an expert?
Jenna takes things a little further than Data was expecting, as after telling him he is perfect, she kisses him. If it's good enough for Tasha... This leads our troubled android to the ship's real guidance counsellor - Deanna. I don't think that her Betazoid powers are going to do her much good in this case. Data tells her that Jenna just gave him "a very passionate kiss in the torpedo bay". Now I've never heard it called that before.
After getting no useful help from Deanna, Data goes off to seek relationship advice from the rest of the crew. Guinan tells him to work it our for himself. Geordi doesn't have any practical knowledge so he can't answer. Worf tells him not to pursue, but to conquer, and then follows it up in a very big-brotherly way. Riker, true to his sleezing way, tells him to go for it. Finally Picard tells Data that he'd be pleased to help, and will do so the moment he gains any understanding of women. Data still has no real idea of what to do.
In a complete aside, strange things have been happing on the ship. One of Bev's instruments is lying on the floor, Data's cat got out, and Picard's ready-room has been reorganised with a definite floor motif. Poltergeists we wonder? Certainly not, probably just some silly SF plot intending to break up Data's character development.
After consulting the library, Data arrives at Jenna's quarters with flowers, and then proceeds to nag her about the mess. Later she comes to his quarters and gives him a sculpture. He of course critically analyses it. Jenna isn't impressed, but at least he's trying - yeah, very trying.
The Enterprise has been heading towards an M-class planet in the nebula to see how life may have evolved there. Unfortunately when they get there, there is nothing but a note saying "popped out for a couple on minutes, be back soon". After enough time for Picard to look stern, the planet returns. This causes some concern, but not as much as when the observation lounge depressurises. What do they do? Send in a suited team to observe it? Nope, send in four of the bridge crew.
Data is trying to be sleazy, and it looks as if he has been taking lessons from Riker. Unfortunately it is too regimented and it just puts Jenna on edge. When she asks him what's wrong, he slams back at her telling her that it is her fault. What? That sounded like emotion. Nope, just Data trying to fake a lovers quarrel. It doesn't work and she throws him out.
There are strange forces at work on the Enterprise and more unusual incidents are happening all over: workstations are exploding and the ship is even suffering structural damage. Luckily there have been no fatalities. Oops, I spoke too soon, someone just fell through a deck. Not actually technically through it, more like half through it, and now is embedded in it. I do not envy the cleaners...
Data theorises that it is dark matter causing GapsInSpace™ that randomly float through the ship and cause damage. He can readjust the sensors to detect them, but not until they are too close to do anything about it. If they use a shuttle to navigate the around the stuff, and link its guidance system to the Enterprise they just might get out. How convenient. In a surprise move, Picard says that he will pilot the ship, and Riker looks almost heart-broken.
Good old Chrome-Dome has about as much piloting ability as he does captaining ability - almost none. After scraping his shuttle on a GapInSpace™ and damaging one of the nascells he completely loses control, and O'Brien has to beam him back on board just as the shuttle detonates. They are only 1000000km from the edge of the cloud so Riker orders a run for it. Pardon? Did someone just lose their tiny mind. Sure did, but luckily they make it.
Jenna finally comes to see Data and tells him that it is all over. She left one unemotional man for someone totally incapable of emotion. In a totally viscous slash, he tells her that he will delete her program since they are no longer a couple. Nasty!
