| The Next Generation | |
| 85 | |
| Data's Day | |
| 44390.1 | |
As a consolation prize to Commander Maddox, Data is going to send him a complete record of his activities for a day. Wow, this is shaping up to be a really exciting episode already. Since this has the potential to be staggeringly boring, we need a side-plot to keep everyone tuned in...
It's Chief O'Brien's wedding day - he's finally going to marry Keiko! The proxy father of the bride is Data, which at least means that he won't tell crappy jokes at the reception. When the time for the rehearsal comes around, Data goes to fetch Keiko - and she calls the wedding off. Ugh. Since this will make her happy, and since he knows that Chief O'Brien wants to keep her happy, Data goes off to see the Chief with the good news. Double ugh. This plot looks just as dull as the first, maybe we need another one...
Vulcan Ambassador T'Pel has arrived, and immediately seeks a private meeting with Picard. Data is set the task of projecting Romulan tactical deployments along the Neutral Zone. They are still deployed to support a policy of confrontation, and it isn't likely to change. Doh! If it changed then everyone would be at peace - and we can't have that. T'Pel insists that the mission must go ahead anyway. You are now entering the Neutral Zone...
It's now O'Brien's turn to go and see Data. He too asks for help, and asks Data to go and see Keiko. "Make her see reason" he pleads. That doesn't sound like a good way to start a marriage. When Data tells her that she has made an incorrect analysis, she just gets bitchy and stomps away. At least he tries hard. He may not feel emotions, but he can feel confused. Who can help him? Counsellor Troi! Oh no, not again.
What would a wedding be with dancing, and who better to teach our Plastic Pal than the Dancing Doctor! Bev whips up a dance studio on the holodeck, and starts to tap. Data follows along like a pro. After exhausting the doctor and copying all her moves, he says "I am now ready to dance at the wedding". Yeah right, the only tapping seen at weddings is what's done to the keg at the reception! Maybe something more gentle, like the waltz. After stumbling around for a while, he finally gets the hang of it, and tops off his performance with a grin so ghastly even Laughing Boy wouldn't be seen wearing it!
T'Pel summons Data to her quarters, and after giving a legitimate security code, asks him about the defence and navigational capabilities of the Enterprise. Specifically the maximum deflector shield strength. Naughty, naughty. When he tells her that his safeguards require him to inform Picard, she quickly withdraws her request. Of course she was just checking to see if he was a security risk. Yeah right.
What's big and green and capable of giving the Enterprise a run for its money? A Romulan Warbird! The Enterprise heads off to the agreed coordinates to find Romulan Admiral Mendak. Since there's no agreed protocol for this sort of diplomacy, T'Pel thinks that it's logical for her to beam over. Into the lion's den...
Oh no! There's been a transporter emergency - T'Pel's pattern got lost and all that's left is a small pool of slime on the transport pad. That is going to be hard to negotiate with. "Well played" says Mendak. He thinks that the Federation don't really want peace, and so they staged a little accident. If only they were so devious. "I think we should both leave before there is... another accident" threatens Mendak. See ya, wouldn't wanta be ya!
It's time to solve the mystery. A quick comparison of the slime to T'Pel's transporter trace records, show that they are not quite the same. The slime looks like replicated matter! Those naughty Romulans beamed her directly off the Enterprise's transport pad, and left a little puddle in return. What will the Bald Avenger do? "Red alert! All hands stand to battle stations!" Who is this, and what did they do with the real Picard? Mr Worf, plot an intercept course...
Picard confronts Mendak and tells him that he knows about the "accident" and will take whatever action is necessary to get the ambassador back. Oh look, another Warbird just decloaked. Is he bluffing? Who can tell, he's acting assertively for a change, so he might just do it. T'Pel steps into view, although this time she's wearing a Romulan uniform. See the little goblins! She wasn't an Elf at all, she was a disguised Drow all along. Here come three more Warbirds to join the party. Time for a quick goodbyes and a tactical withdrawal. Bring me my brown trousers...
Data tries to apologise to Keiko for offending her, but she has already had a change of heart. It's time for the wedding - dum, dum, de-dum. The marriage celebrant is Captain Stubing, and as the Love Boat sails away into the sunset, we all go ugghhh!
