The TREKKER Reviews


SERIES
The Next Generation
EPISODE
146
TITLE
The Chase
STARDATE
46731.5


"Oh my God!". What happened, something dramatic? Nope, it's just Picard's old archaeology professor with a 12,000 year old soup tureen. Wow! After a short quiz, Galen gives the artefact to him, but it's really a bribe... He wants to take the captain on a wonderful journey. Hmm.

Professor Galen hasn't been seen for the last decade, and has been continuing his research on micropalaeontology - the study of really old, really small things - like the plot of the average TNG episode. He has discovered something, but the information comes at a price - the journey. All Picard has to do is go barge hopping for maybe a year, while giving up his commission. When the Bald Avenger says no - Galen tries a guilt trip on him, and then storms off in a huff.

We return you to your regularly scheduled boring diplomatic mission, when... Galen is under attack! Yridian's have boarded his shuttle and tried to access his computers! Worf knocks out their defensive systems by completely destroying them. That'll teach them a God fearing lesson - or at least it would have if there was anyone left to learn it...

Galen took a hit in the chest at point-blank range, and because he isn't a recurring character Dr Social Conscience can't do a thing for him - he dies. All that is left of his work are number blocks from the shuttle's computers - and no instructions on what to do with them. Picard orders the Enterprise to backtrack Galen's path and try to find out what it was he was killed for. Both Laughing Boy and Troi try to subtly suggest that he is wasting time and that the diplomatic mission is more important. Ha! When you have a lifetime of guilt to work off, the diplomats can wait.

The first planet has no signs of civilisation, and they arrive at the second just in time to see its entire biosphere destroyed. Finally they figure out the puzzle. The number blocks are encoded representations of DNA from across the quadrant. The strange thing is that they seem compatible. Even more amazing is that when combined they form a 4 billion year old algorithm encoded in the DNA! If only they had all the pieces... Let's find the next one - maximum warp!

They've got company - the Cardassians are here, and so are the Klingons! They are all here for the same reason - to finish the puzzle. Since none of them have all the pieces, Picard convinces them to combine efforts and share the results. It still doesn't help, they are one piece short! Not a problem, all the Enterprise's computer has to do is find a pattern in the location of the worlds where the DNA strands came from, and extrapolate the missing piece while correcting for 4 billion years of change. Yeah right.

It can solve the problems of the universe, but it can't accept natural language queries - those computers amaze me! As soon as it locates the planet, the Cardassian captain beams off and fires on both the Enterprise and the Klingon attack cruiser. Nice co-operation guys. That'll teach them to be nasty - the computer lied! Now it's just the humans and Klingons who will solve the puzzle. Vilmora Two here we come...

The planet no longer supports life, except for one isolated pocket of vegetation. Incredibly it does still have a breathable atmosphere! Picard and company beam down to get a sample, and are met by the Cardassians. They must have really fast ships. But who's this? The Romulans! Things are really getting interesting. The Cardassians threaten to destroy the last of the vegetation so no-one will have the solution. Let's make a deal...

Bev does a rock scraping and hopes that the fossilised vegetation is still a viable sample. Oh no, someone left the write protect tab off the tricorder, and the now active program modifies it to produce... A weapon? No. A power source? No. A biscuit recipe? No. What then? Junk mail from God! You've got to be kidding.

"We apologise for the inconvenience."

That's why all the aliens in the Trek universe look alike - they're all descended from the same species all those billions of years ago. And we thought it was because of low budgets and unimaginative makeup artists. Bollocks.

Roll Credits...

It tried, it really did. The plot had potential, but it was let down once again by the ending. We don't need touchy-feely sensitive "we can all live in peace" endings - that's what the average soap is for. We need dramatic action packed endings! Now when are the X-Files on again...


This review is Copyright © 1994, Phil Kernick.
Permission is granted for anyone to electronically distribute it - details available on request.