| The Next Generation | |
| 136 | |
| Chain Of Command, Part I | |
| 46357.4 | |
The Enterprise has been called to an urgent meeting with a Vice-Admiral, near the Cardassian border. An Admiral of Vice on Star Trek? And you thought that it was supposed to be a wholesome family show! While Starfleet may have a dearth of female captains, they certainly have a plethora of female admirals - maybe that's why they become the Vice-Admirals... Without so much as a by-your-leave she says to Picard: "I'm here to relieve you of command of the Enterprise"! Is it finally time for the court-marshal because of the incident with the Borg? Nah, that would be too much to hope for...
Since the GlueHeads have left Bajor, they need someone to threaten, and this week the Federation has the honour. They've be massing troops on the Federation border and they may even try to capture one of the disputed worlds. Of course they claim that they are just exercises, but isn't that what Saddam said too?
The new captain of the Enterprise is... Dick Jones! You thought that when Robocop blew him away that he crashed to his death, but he must have somehow dropped through a time portal to the 23rd century and worked his way up to captain. He's now using the assumed name of Edward Jellico, but I'm sure he'll be trouble...
I knew it! The best way to take control of a situation is to throw it into total chaos, and then reshape it in your own model, and that's what Jelly-cone's done. Firstly he replaced the roster system to guarantee that Laughing Boy is off-side. Then listened politely to Troi as she "counseled" him on the change of command, promptly ignored her suggestions and told her to wear a standard uniform! Since Worf and Bev have been reassigned with Picard, and Data has no emotions, that leaves just Geordi to upset. Oh La Forge...
Jellico and Picard have nothing in common - except for four pips. While Picard is understanding, Jellico is authoritarian; while Picard concedes, Jellico demands. Pop quiz - which of the above sounds more like Kirk? Jellico wants the ship ready for action, and when Picard tells him that maybe he should go easy on the crew for a while, he retorts "The Enterprise is mine now, so nyah, nyah, na-nyah-nyah!" That was subtle as a brick.
Quietly hum the theme music to "Mission Impossible". Your mission Jean-Luc, should you decide to accept it, is to infiltrate a secret Cardassian research lab on Celtris-3, determine whether they are working on a metagenic weapon, and if so, destroy it at any cost. As always, should any of your force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. Good luck, Jean-Luc. This quotation will self-destruct in five seconds...
Why!? Why would a Starfleet Captain, a Chief Medical Officer and a Security Chief with no recent field experience in undercover operations be sent on a secret mission with absolutely no backup? Easy, Picard once dealt with Theta-band carrier waves, which is the delivery method for the new weapon; Crusher is a doctor, and so she should be able to disarm and destroy any devices they find; and Worf is there for obvious reasons. Is this the best that Starfleet can manage? Did I mention that their last information came from two years before? Give me a break!
Jelly-cone starts the diplomatic talks by making Gul Lemec wait for an hour. Why? Out of pure spite? Nope, to take the dominant position. Ah, he likes to be on top! When Lemec doesn't immediately roll over, Jelly-cone stomps off and calls an end to the talks! Of course it's all just posing, but he certainly knows how to play the game. When the talks finally recommence, Jelly-cone pays his ante by saying that of course Starfleet wouldn't start a war. Gul Lemec doubles the stakes by showing his trump card - he knows all about the infiltration team! "Where's Picard?" quips Lemec, "He's a nice Captain. Pity if anything should... happen to him."
Jean-Luc, Bev and Worf are playing Tunnels & Trolls on Celtris-3. They won't be getting much experience yet, as they are still wandering around looking for the installation. The Bald Avenger gets bored and gets Were-Worf to start phasering - a sort of hi-tech pass-wall spell! Finally they arrive and find a maintenance hatch. Worf bypasses the security and locking mechanisms and they burst into...
...nothing! There's no lab at all, just a strange device set in the floor. It's a trap! Surprise, surprise... Here come the aforementioned Trolls. Were-Worf shoots wildly at the incoming monsters, the Bald Avenger decides that body tackling is more fun, and Dr Social Conscience doesn't like taking life - so she shoots at the walls! Worf manages to hold the door open long enough for Bev to escape, but is shot and falls through. Picard is stuck between a rock and... several disruptors.
He is taken from this place to another place, where he's brought before a strange looking Cardassian. "You'll be a challenge" he says. The Cardie then goes on to recite Picard's entire biography. He knows everything, but then you'd have to, to be able to lure the captain of the Federation's flag-ship. "What's going on" demands Picard. "In this room, you do not ask the questions" says the Cardassian coolly, "I ask them; you answer. If I am not satisfied with your answers, you will die."
