| The Next Generation | |
| 114 | |
| Conundrum | |
| 45494.2 | |
The galactic blood-hound is once again on the scent - this time of mysterious subspace signals. What they find is a small unidentified craft. Picard decides to be diplomatic and says "Hi". They respond by scanning the ship. After he gets a little worried by the probing, Picard orders shields up, but to no avail as the probe penetrates them! The scanning seems to have wiped out all their memories!
So now our intrepid crew now has the joyous task of discovering themselves. Worf notices his tin-foil decoration and declares himself captain! No-one objects. There also seem to be various never before seen bridge crew milling around. We've seen unknown ensigns before, but now there also appears to be an unknown commander!
Since the only functional system on-board is life support, Captain Worf immediately orders the ship be made battle ready! Full marks for lump-head! He concludes that since they are so well armed, they must be a battleship. I wonder how he is going to explain the children and the primary school? I don't recall that the Midway had a creche.
Riker, not content with discovering himself, takes on the challenge of discovering Ensign Ro as well. She does make it rather easy for him by waiting in his bed! Deanna also seems keen for a little Riker introspection. The silly grin has never been wider!
Data's new found job is as a bartender in 10-Forward! His position doesn't last long as Geordi finally gets access to the personnel files. In order of rank we have: Captain Picard, then Executive Officer McDuff...! Who? A never before seen commander is the Enterprise's XO? They don't have an XO, and don't need one either, since no-one ever makes executive decisions. He must be a fraud, so to protect the innocent lets call him Cmdr Plot Device. At the bottom of the list comes Lt Worf. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
Next on the list of things to find out - why are we here? Well 15 billion years ago... no wait that will take too long, how about we start at the beginning of the Lysian war. Pardon me, did someone say war? We don't need no steenkin wars! Apparently the Federation has been at war with the Lysian alliance, and the Enterprise has been ordered to destroy the Lysian High Command. A Lysian destroyer approaches the Enterprise and tries to hail them. A return hail of phaser fire turns them into cosmic dust.
Data and Geordi are still trying to access the ship's records, and specifically the medical records. Their attempts are blocked, and when Data manages to bypass the block they discover that all the records have been destroyed. How convenient. Since that failed, Bev suggests a radical memory procedure that might unlock their long-term memories. Cmdr Device volunteers for the procedure but when he convulses they throw that idea out. That was a bit of a surprise wasn't it!
Picard is showing his true form when he tells Plot Device that he has doubts about the war, and that he is not content just to obey orders. Aint that the truth! Prime Directive, who needs it? McDuff takes this as insurrection and goes to see Worf to try and drum up support for a mutiny.
The Enterprise enters the Lysian system and puts on itself on a battle posture. They encounter sentry pods, and destroy them without any effort - this is just too easy! They reach Lysian High Command to discover that it has almost no defences - a single photon torpedo would destroy it. Picard refuses to attack them, and Plot Device asserts command. When Worf won't support him he backhands him across the bridge and tries to fire all weapons. He is stopped only by the combined phasers of Worf and Riker.
McDuff was a smart enemy - he didn't give the whole plot away. The Lysians know the plot, and even have a clue to lend the Enterprise. McDuff was actually a Suttaran, a mortal enemy of the Lysians, and someone they have been at war with for ages. Lets summarise: the Suttarans have the technology to probe through shields, wipe memories remotely, reprogram Starfleet computers, perfectly imitate humans so that even bioscanners can't tell the difference, and know everything about how to run a starship, yet they can't develop the technology to build a bomb!
In a final touching scene Ro and Troi are having drinks in 10-Forward and scoring Riker on his performances. He turns up in the middle of the adjudication and his smug look dribbles through his beard and makes a wet patch on the floor. Troi tells him to come and see her during office hours if he wants some counselling!
