| The Next Generation | |
| 78 | |
| Suddenly Human | |
| 44143.7 | |
This is International Rescue - Thunderbirds are Go! Well nearly anyway. The Enterprise is off checking out another distress call. A Talarian training ship has had a radiation leak, so Picard orders a rescue mission. The crew are a group of spotty-faced Talarian teenagers, and one blonde haired human boy.
After being brought to sick bay and pumped full of drugs by Dr Bev, the kids go nuts and start yelling and moaning - obviously a bad trip! Picard comes in, and very nearly orders them to be quiet. The human, Jono, seems prepared to listen only to Picard. That gives us a crew of 1014 who ignore him, and a young boy who listens - I suppose it is a start.
Bev tells Picard that Jono has suffered several broken bones while in the "care" of the Talarians, and maybe have been abused. Oh, no! It's going to be a politically-correct-issue episode. Shut her down Mac, she's drawing mud. Uggh.
Troi tells Picard that Jono needs a father figure, and that he must be it. We also delve deep into Picard's psyche and find out that he had no childhood friends. Hands up all those that this surprises. I'm waiting... This combined with the realisation that Jono has always lived with his Captain takes us far to close to inuendo that I am not going to use. I can almost imagine Picard singing to Jono: "You can leave your gloves on".
A Talarian ship has arrived. It is the K'Mer and its captain, Endar, claims that Jono is his son. Hmm, lets count the brow ridges: Jono - none; Endar - enough to rival Worf. Seems an unlikely proposition in the light of it. Endar threatens that if Jono is not returned, he will attack the Enterprise - with sharp sticks and harsh languauge, because that is about all his ship can manage. Yawn.
Endar beams over and asks Jono what he wants to do. With a little coaching Jono agrees that he wants to return. He then gets a call from his grandmother the Admiral. This seems to confuse him so much he decides to play high-tech racquet ball with Picard. This game is almost as exciting as Rikers blind broom-fighting. Sport in the 23rd century - what a concept! Memories flood back into yound Jono's brain and he collapses onto the floor. At least that is what you are suppose to believe. What you didn't see was that Picard aimed a particuarly nasty shot straight to Jono's groin!
A well deserved drink in 10-Forward is ruined by the presense of Wes. But after having known him for all of 15 seconds, Jono throws a banana split in Wesley's face. I could get to like this kid after all. The only thing a couldn't understand is why the banana split was blue?
Later that night, while Picard is sleeping, Jono quietly sneaks into his quarters and... knifes him! Oh well, so much for a blossoming friendship. Endar's mates turn up, carrying several particuarly sharp slices of mango, and discover Riker in charge. This seems to confuse Endar for a while, and he blames Picard for not transporting Jono back earlier.
Picard asks Jono why he did it, and he said that he was into kinky S&M games, and this was just all part of the fun. Or phrased a different way, that he didn't want to give up his old life for the new one in the Federation (who would?), and that he thought that he would be put to death - taking away his choices. Picard of course whimps out, reconsciles with Endar and sends Jono back.
In the transporter room, Jono removes his gloves and delicately head-butts Picard as a gesture of good-will.
