|The Next Generation|
A beach. A sunset. Wait a minute... Is it Thursday? Yes. Hmm. Channel 9 at 11pm? Yes. Check the TV guide. ST:TNG. Hmm. There are two people on the beach. One is either wearing some very odd shades, or - it is Geordi and this is the holodeck. Look closer. The other person is female and white! It must be the holodeck!
The girl it turns out is real, but "doesn't think of him in that way". Bitch! Data decides to drown his sorrows in some excess yellow fluid and in the course of the conversation with Guinan we discover that she likes bald men - so Picard is still in with a chance.
Back on the bridge Picard decides to head his own away team to a long dead space-craft while Troi looks on with her lopsided costume in full view. Riker is smirking unreasonably again. Amazing. They call this a family show.
It turns out the other ship was caught by some sort of booby trap, which predictably also catches the Enterprise. We must turn to our trusty engineer to get us out of this fine mess.
Geordi's idea of working on the problem is to create a hologram of one of the ship's engine designers, who is turns out is an attractive female. Is it just me, or has anyone ever met a physicist who wasn't male and a geek? I find it hard to concieve of, but it is a pretty wierd future we are heading towards.
So where Geordi fails with real women, he makes up with his plastic pals who are fun to be with.
After Geordi and his holorgasmic bint come up with a great way to save the ship, Picard decides that it is his job to pilot the vessel out of danger. Egotistical glory monger if you ask me. He manages an awesome gravity slingshot around an asteroid far smaller than the Enterprise itself (which I might add, doesn't move) and they finally clear the trap.
To make sure no other misguided souls will make the same mistake, Picard orders the derelict ship destroyed with photon torpedoes, and we discover than an annoying patch of Star-Wars noisey vacuum was hiding there. Yep, you guessed it, they heard the explosion!
Geordi finally scores with his photonic babe.